How to Make an International Long Distance Relationship Work

How do you make an international long distance relationship work? I was staying at a hostel in Portugal with my boyfriend recently, and everyone we met was so confused when he said he was from England, and then I would say I’m from Michigan. At first people would nod and smile, but you could see the confusion in their eyes. People we hardly knew asked us ‘wait, are you guys together?,’ and one guy from our surfing trip said ‘I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little confused here. What’s your situation? Are you actually dating?’

If you are in, or ever have been in an international long distance relationship, you are probably nodding your head vigorously. If you are thinking of entering an international long distance relationship… this is just an example of what you will have to deal with!

Some of you may even be surprised to know that we have been in a relationship for over six years. For much of that time, it has been long distance…including international!

As the years have gone by I’ve met more and more people in similar situations, and heard more international long distance relationship success stories. I do think this is a side effect of our increasingly travel-friendly culture.

Girl travels abroad. Meets someone. Falls in love. Then what? Well that’s what I want to chat about.

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Photo taken at Durdle Door the first time I visited Dan’s family. This was before I moved back to the USA and before we got into this whole international long distance relationship saga!

Our international long distance relationship story

Dan and I met at a Halloween party during my study abroad year in England. Neither of us were looking for a relationship, least of all a long distance one that we’d be in for the next 6+ years!

We were young and although I’d day dreamed of running into Niall Horan during study abroad and living happily ever after, I really wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. Well, I found one anyway!

So there I was, eight months later, googling ‘how to make an international long distance relationship work’… and turning up nada.

RELATED | Studying Abroad for a Year in England

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
One of the first ever photos of us from my flat during study abroad in 2014. my best friend who was visiting from Michigan took the photo, probably as evidence to my friends back home 😛

Despite the lack of support from the internet back then, here I am, typing this out on an airplane as I fly home from visiting my British boyfriend.

After I moved back to the USA to finish my college degree, we spent a year in an international long distance relationship. After I graduated, I moved back to the UK. I then spent three happy years living in the UK (still long distance, but it didn’t seem like it after having an ocean between us!). Since I moved back to the USA after my masters, we have been back on the international long distance relationship bus.

Back when I first moved back to the USA, I spent so long looking for international long distance relationship success stories or advice online to prove that yes, it’s actually possible.

Coming up blank, though, we ended up forging our own path. Finding out what worked for us and what didn’t. And I think that has been for the best.

RELATED | Long Distance Date Ideas You Have to Try

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Photo taken in Dan’s flat during one of my visits back to England during my final year in college (I was living in Ohio at the time)

What worked for us four years ago when we were both in college is not what works for us now when we are both working. We have both changed, our circumstances have changed, and I think one reason our relationship has lasted is because we’ve given ourselves the space to let our relationship change as well.

So that’s why I’ll never be one to give hard and fast international long distance relationship advice. What works for one couple may not work for another.

However being a pragmatist myself, I will give you guys a few examples of what we’ve done over the years.

RELATED | Inspiring Long Distance Relationship Stories From Couples Around the World

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Yet another photo of baby us 🙂 Taken back in 2015 during Dan’s second visit to Michigan… we took a bus to Chicago and spent a few days there, staying with my friend!

How to make an international long distance relationship work


Obviously communication is key, whether it is over text or Instagram or Facetime. Find out what works for you, try to set regular dates for Facetime calls and really speak to each other.

If something is upsetting you in an international long distance relationship, you can’t hold it in. You have to speak about it and ultimately that will make you stronger.


Obviously. You need to see each other. When on different continents, our goal is to visit each other every 3-4 months.

You need to have a level of flexibility, yet still a firm goal to look forward to. We switch off who is the one flying each time to make it fair in terms of money, which brings me to…


What a tip right? My number one tip is to win the lottery! But forreal, international LDRs are expensive as hell.

Do what you can to save money (i.e. staying at the other person’s house during visits), and have open conversations about money and budgeting and expectations. It won’t work if you are operating on completely different budgets.

I highly, highly, highly recommend making an account on Transferwise, which lets you transfer money internationally without banks’ transfer fees, and at the market exchange rate. I’ve used Transferwise for many years and saved SO much money.

When we visit each other, whoever’s home currency it is usually pays for most things – that way the other person avoids excessive bank fees. We use a free app called Tricount to track who owes what. At the end of the trip, we pay the other person back via Transferwise.

There’s no getting around the fact that international long distance relationships are expensive, but those are some small ways we reduce expenses.

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Our relationship was a lot cheaper when we lived in the same country! This photo was taken at the MTV festival in Plymouth, where I lived in England.


This is the foundation of every relationship, let alone an international long distance relationship. If you have trust issues, you won’t make it a day.

Ideally this is something you should sort out with each other before you attempt to go international. Your life is stressful enough… don’t spend your extra energy being distrustful of the person you should be able to trust most.

Don’t listen to negativity.

People aren’t going to understand. Even people close to you like your friends or family may try to convince you how ridiculous dating a person on a different continent is.

But ultimately, there are two people in your relationship: You and your significant other. So if the negativity is coming from a third party, just let it roll off you. Easier said than done, but it gets simpler with time, and the people close to you will learn to understand!

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Photo taken during St Patrick’s Day in Chicago, during Dan’s visit in March, where we roadtripped and stayed in an Airbnb with my friends. Luckily my friends are super supportive and they all have met and know Dan by now!

Movies and TV.

We sometimes have “movie dates” where we will pick a movie and watch it simultaneously, and text each other during it.

The issue with being in different countries is that not all the same movies and shows are available in both the US and UK. We both subscribed to Amazon Prime and Netflix – between the two, Amazon Prime is more likely to have the same shows available.

We especially like watching TV shows “together”. This is because it gives you a common interest and something to chat about over a longer period of time… ultimately it’s not about the TV show, but instead about the connection and the feeling of normalcy it gives to an otherwise not-normal relationship!

Multiplayer games.

Yeahhhh there was a year when we were REALLY into Clash of Clans. What a time. But for real, any kind of multiplayer online/app game that you can do to keep in touch helps! Think Words With Friends, Poker, etc.

I’ve listed even more virtual games in my article about long distance relationship games.

RELATED | Best Games to Play in a Long Distance Relationship

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
During our trip to Morocco in 2016!

Setting goals.

Set short term goals like when your next visit is, and special things you might do during that visit.

Also set longer term goals. You probably don’t want to be in an international long distance relationship forever, so what’s the timeline for being in the same country? This doesn’t need to be concrete, but having multiple options or ideas can help.

Personal projects.

Look on the bright side of being in an international long distance relationship. For us, that means time to focus on personal projects and our careers.

I focused for a long time on my professionalizing my blog, and transferring my healthcare qualification to the USA. I also have time for things like learning pottery, running half marathons, and more. It is a great time to invest in myself and really get to know myself.

I had a friend in college who was in a long distance relationship (between Ohio and a naval base in Japan!). She learned to scuba dive when they were apart, which helped her cope with the distance, distract herself, and do something she’d always wanted to do.

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
Being together is amazing but it’s equally important to be able to be happy when you’re alone.

Cooking dates.

The first time Dan and I were in an international long distance relationship, we would have cooking dates. Choose a recipe and try to make it at the same time while Facetiming.

If you’re like us and are between the USA and Europe, you may have to invest in measuring cups or a kitchen scale to cope with the different measuring systems! That was a learning curve.

Learn a new language.

Okay, this is definitely something you should try if your partner speaks a different language! Dan and I are both English speakers, but we both took French in school. We downloaded the app Duolingo and tried to relearn French together. This was really fun and seeing as we are both super competitive turned into a little game.

We’re currently together and travelling South and Central America for an extended amount of time (yes, we closed the distance at last!!). Whilst French didn’t go too well, immersion Spanish school in Peru definitely got us off on the right track!

Think of the positives.

Similar to my ‘personal projects’ point… try to think of the positives. Being in an international long distance relationship isn’t all bad.

For example, anyone in an international long distance relationship either has, or is going to come out of it with baller communication skills and a strong as hell relationship.

What else? You get to travel! We both love travel and this is always something we look forward to. Being apart from Dan also means I get to spend more time visiting and reconnecting with family and old friends.

There are lots of positives to an international long distance relationship if you think about it.

If you are wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work, you are not alone! Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for making yours work too. #longdistancerelationship #ldr #internationallongdistancerelationship #overseasrelationship #longdistancetips
During a trip to Prague together (we were actually living in different cities in the UK at the time, and decided to do a trip to Prague instead of Christmas presents). We both love travel which is lucky because you do a lot of that in an international long distance relationship!

Final thoughts on being in an international long distance relationship

It’s not up to fate. It’s whether you want it or not. It’s fine not to want it… an international long distance relationship is hard work, lonely, and will set you apart from your friends.

You are going to spend thousands of dollars and many people will not understand you. You will spend every day missing someone very important to you. Am I selling it yet? 😉

But in the end it comes down to how much it means to you to be with the other person. It’s certainly challenging, but I’m grateful every day to have my best friend in my life… even if he is on an inconvenient continent.

Have you ever been in an international long distance relationship or any long distance relationship? I’d love to hear your own thoughts and tips!

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Wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work? Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for yours too.
Wondering how to make an international long distance relationship work? Here is our international long distance relationship story, and tips for yours too.

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  1. Hey Sarah!

    I’m so glad I discovered your blog. It’s so comforting to read other couples LDR stories especially at this time of uncertainty of when the borders are opening up.

    My Sunday blues are kicking and I miss my boyfriend extra on Sundays. I’m from Manila and he lives in Melbourne. So, it’s uplifting to read success stories especially today. Looking forward to your future posts!

  2. Hey Sarah,
    I’m really glad when I searched long distance relationship date ideas, your blog popped up. I have been in an international LDR with my boyfriend for about 4 months now and it never gets easier. He was also an exchange student here so when he was done he had to go back to his country and with COVID-19, it’s impossible to predict when we’ll be reunited again. I think our main source of negative thoughts is the uncertainty about border re-openings but we try to make up for it by playing games, talk about our days or having movie nights in a minimum one hour videocall everyday.
    It warms my heart to read that other people have made it work for such a long time. It gives me hope that no matter what happens, we can keep being in a relationship despite the distance.

  3. Hey Sarah,
    It’s really nice to read your story and how you made it in successful one.
    I’m currently in one, she is in USA and I’m in India, and in this Corona time it’s hard.
    I agreed most of the things you said in your blog , about the movies and watching show together, we listen music together too, that’s how we know, we suits eachother so much and can spend this life together with ease but moving to another country is pain right?

  4. Hey Sarah

    I’m literally laying sobbing because I miss him, I wish I was there just a few days ago I said to my sister in law like its so crazy to think in 2020 my aupair / culture exchange year I met and started dating this guy and boom a pandemic strikes. I really miss him everyday and I’ve been back home for almost two months now and things have been getting bumpy. But it doesn’t mean I love him less or that I’m not up for it. I just wish things were easier to access a visa and that its wasn’t so far and so expensive. He truly is the guy I wanna spend my rest of my life with. I would love to start a blog about our relationship as a support strategy. It isn’t easy but it is at the end of the day about the person you love.

    Chanel xxx

    1. Thanks for the comment Chanel. You’re not alone… it is an awful situation especially right now with closed borders and the uncertainty of everything. Best of luck to the two of you, I hope you are able to make it work!

  5. Hi Sarah,
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It’s reassuring to know there are other people in the same boat and that you’ve found a way to make your relationship work. My boyfriend has been back in Australia since October and I’m in the US. I’m planning to go visit him for a few months once the Australian borders open back up and if all goes well, I may move out there for a year or two before we settle in the US. I’m wondering if you have any tips for dealing with the uncertainty that COVID presents. I’m struggling right now because I have no idea when I’ll be able to see him again. How have you been dealing with this challenge?

    1. Hi Kelsey! Thanks for reaching out. Good luck getting to Australia – any news on when their borders will reopen? I bet you will love living there for a year or so with their working holiday visa. Unfortunately, Dan and I are in the same situation with closed borders and not knowing when we will meet again. I know some people choose to meet up in a third country, however that presents a lot of logistical challenges, is expensive, and not always the most ethical for the local community. So it’s tough! We have just been talking a lot, doing extra things like playing online games and writing letters and cooking together etc., and planning for a dream future ’round the world trip’… that we have no clue when we will take but it makes us happy to start researching! I think finding even something small (maybe researching your future visa, what you’d do together/where you’d live in australia etc) that involves planning and makes you feel like you have control of *something* (anything at all!) is what’s most helpful to mental health right now. But over all yeah… it’s very difficult. You’re not alone! I’ve already written an essay of a reply here, so maybe I should just write a whole new blog post lol.

  6. Hi Sarah,
    I can honestly relate to your LDR, the only thing holding me back is where to live together. Have you and Dan talked about that? I’d really want to know what you two think. I don’t know if I’d want to move to the UK and my bf isn’t sure if he wants to move to the US anymore. Any advice would help from you two. Thank you!

    1. Hi Emily! Thanks for reading and for your comment. I can definitely relate, that is one of our hardest decisions too. To be honest because neither of us is ready to move permanently right now due to health and career reasons, we are putting off the decision until a later time because in a year or two factors in the world, visas, and our lives may influence that decision! We do talk about the various paths and options a lot though. There are pros and cons to both countries.

  7. Hey sarah, thanks for sharing this. Hearing that u two have been together for 6 years now is really inspiring for me and my ldr. We’ve been together for a year and a half and met just before the global lockdown so we havnt met yet but our initial connection was so deep that the distance and time difference between us (he lives in Toronto and i live in London) is worth the love we share. But recently it has been getting heavy & hard. We decided to an open relationship, where we casually see others, whilst keeping each other in the loop w everything. It feels good but its a temporary fix and only momentarily. i really cant let him go because he will always be the one that got away. We plan to get married next year but we’re worried about even making it that far.

    1. Hi there, first of all my heart goes out to you that you are having a difficult time right now. I’m sending a hug. I think it is normal to go through a phase like this at your point in the relationship, and I can imagine it is even more challenging if you have not yet met in person. I personally could not make an open relationship work ever. But I know that everyone is different so I am passing no judgement on you at all. Sometimes letting go is the best thing to do so you can get some clarity on what your own goals are and how to make them work. It doesn’t necessarily mean saying goodbye to the relationship forever. Dan and I broke up at one point and then got back together a few months later and I think that was painful but also important for us to do. What’s important is that you are happy.

    2. Hi Jiji,

      I recently got to know someone from Nigeria. We’ve been talking for 4 months. He seemed like he had good intentions. Then one day he asked me this:

      “Apparently the job are for international employees but you have to be in the US or have a valid US driving license, and a good resume..non of which I have hoping you could help me with those and help me do the application

      I have a friend who does the job at the moment and he had someone in open the account for the job for him..i was hoping you could do same for me🙏”

      He then proceeded to talk about the currency value of his country vs the US and that he felt it was best to get a job where he earned USD.

      To me this is a huge red flag, I felt that he was asking for me to fill out an application so he can get a job. When I declined him he stated he changed his mind. I am very wary of him now and my trust in him has been broken. If he knew the job required citizenship qualifications he did not have, why ask me for help?

      We also tried to talk about potentially meeting in the future, but he can’t even afford to support himself right now, so he wouldn’t have the means to come visit or cover a ticket or even partial. I felt that a lot of the responsibility would be on me to visit. I’d rather be with someone that has financially prepared for a long distance relationship.

      I’m curious if you’ve had any instances like this where there is financial imbalance and someone asking for your personal information? Or if you have any advice? Was I wrong to believe he had ill intentions? He claimed to love me early on around 3 months in, it felt very rushed and one sided as I did not feel this. I liked him but I wasn’t in love.

  8. Hi Sarah!
    It was really relieving to read your post today… I have been really struggling with my long distance relationship at the moment and your blog came up after many google searches. Crazy you are from Michigan, I am from Wisconsin, also in a LDR with a boy from England. I have noticed over the past year since the pandemic I have only been able to travel there and he hasn’t been able to come here… but I have noticed that every time I leave him it becomes harder and harder and it makes me more and more sad. It does not seem to be getting any easier. I get into this cycle of getting into the groove of being on my own and enjoying life and then I see him and it is rainbows and unicorns but when I have to leave him the cycle repeats and I go through this horror of sobbing all day and not being able to function. Another frustrating part about all of this is that he just finished his degree in England and I still have a year left of college in the U.S. but there are a lot of doubts in my mind if I can even make it another year… much less a year where I can’t go see him because my school and work load will be too heavy from September until next summer. I have lived the last year of my life counting down the days until I next get to see him but I am unable to do this now because the travel corridor isn’t open and he doesn’t know when to book the flight for. Needless to say Sarah, it is a long story but I am really struggling and I would like to know how you get out of this vicious cycle…? and if it gets any easier when leaving? I really want to be strong enough but I just don’t know how…
    xx- Sameena

    1. Hi Sameena, thanks for your comment. I’m glad the post resonated for you but I’m sorry you’re going through this tough situation. You are definitely not alone. To answer your first question, yes I do know exactly what you mean that sometimes it is easier to just be in the groove of being on your own because it is so painful to leave each other. I don’t really have an easy answer. Diving back into things, activities, hobbies, events, holidays, friend gatherings etc when you come home from a trip can help get your mind off it. But also.. in a way the sadness is good because it shows how much this really means to you and that it’s worth fighting for. When Dan and I were in university my senior year I visited him twice – once for a week over October break and once for 10 days over my spring break, and he came to see me both summers. Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year in the winter helped get me through that long period between October and April as it was full of events to take my mind off things. I had a ton of studying and workload and spent my spring break with him studying together in the library lol, but it was worth it to be together. I think there is always a way to make things work but that way is not necessarily easy… ESPECIALLY with the closed borders. So it may come down to having a heart to heart with yourself about your goals/priorities. There is no right answer it is whatever makes you happy. Sending hugs <3

  9. I am so happy I found these LDR stories and tips. I haven’t seen my boyfriend for 11 months. It hasn’t been easy, but I am totally optimistic. However, today I needed extra positive vibes, so I found your blog. Perfect. Seek for it, and it will be given. <3 Sending lots of love and positive energy to all LD couples.

    1. Hey Alma, thanks for this sweet upbeat comment. Dan and I will have been apart for 365 days come September 11. I guess right now we are at *almost* 11 months like you. It is nice to hear we aren’t alone in that… it feels crazy and hard to wrap my mind around tbh. But, I am on the same wavelength as you I think. Despite the ridiculous challenge I am still optimistic – if we can make it through this we can do anything 🙂

  10. Hey Sarah!
    It is so inspiring to read your blogs right now, I’m in a kind of new LDR right now, ironically enough he also live in Europe and I live in the states! I know for sure it’s going to be tough, it’s already tough since we have a 7 hour time difference! We each make a little bit of a time sacrifice some nights, we both have school so we both scold each other each time we stay up late, but it’s going great so far and now I have new ideas for “dates” together. It’s going to be a couple years before I see him, and it seems like such a long time but we’re always there for each other if we need it. Thank you for this post, it’s really given me some confidence with going into this!

  11. Hi! Searching the internet to try to feel better about my 2 year LDR – also US and UK and found this. Your story is definitely making me feel better, thanks for sharing!! My boyfriend and I actually almost broke up recently because the distance has gotten really hard. We’re both excited about new jobs in our respective countries and while we love each other the grief and anxiety can be too much. If youre comfortable responding, I wanted to ask what happened with your breakup? How did you guys end up getting back together? Do you think breaks are a good way to take some time to breathe?

    1. First of all, thanks for being here on the blog and reading 🙂 Always happy to hear of another UK-US LDR! Having spoken to a lot of people in LDRs over the years, and also seeing in a few visa facebook groups, it seems that breakups are pretty common in LDRs (in that, you break up and get back together again). Long distance is very difficult and the pandemic has made it 10x more so! We broke up for maybe 4 months shortly after we first went long distance as we were quite young and just thought we couldn’t handle the distance or such a serious relationship at that age (19/20). But we kept speaking to each other during that time and he even came to visit me in Michigan, both of us never really moved on at all… We were terrible at being broken up lol. I remember going on dates with perfectly great guys but just feeling that it was all wrong! It was kind of a heart wrenching time. Eventually we just decided to give it a shot again and we got back together and I made a plan to move to the UK the following year for grad school. Since then obviously we have gone long distance AGAIN, but it is much easier this time I think as in a way having broken up and then reunited it gives you more confidence that not much else can break the relationship! However, I wouldn’t say I think that breaks are a ‘good’ thing, unless they are really what’s needed in the moment. In our situation it was a result of being really young and thrust into a serious relationship (as distance tends to make everything more serious). I definitely can’t give any advice for your own situation other than just send you my solidarity and share our own experience. <3

  12. Stumbled across this blog, just got involved with a long-time friend from Oregon, being from Michigan, sadly neither of us are able to travel much, any tips on making up for that lack of being able to travel? Not something I want to lose between me and her would really like to take this relationship the distance, Thanks

    1. Hey! Sorry for the delayed reply. I totally get not being able to travel much. With the border restrictions Dan and I weren’t able to visit each other for 370 days between 2020 and 2021! It’s just crazy! I wrote a blog post all about long distance date ideas which you might find helpful. That’s honestly what kept us going when we couldn’t see each other for over a year.

  13. hi, I love your blog! I have been dating my LDR boyfriend for only 6 months now but it really has been hard. I’m from Poland and he’s from Norway. We met online during the pandemic and actually met irl about three times. It’s really annoying that some people don’t try to understand how close we are even tho we don’t see each other every day. It also brings me down and can make me feel like my relationship isn’t real or valuable. But I know he is the best thing that happened to me since 2020 and I can’t express it enough. Your posts make me feel like there is support out there in the world and people who actually relate to the struggle we have to go through. Thank you.

  14. Hey Sarah!..
    I’ve been in this LDR for three years now and we both have love each other fr, tho we’re in the same country, but different state
    Seein’ each other is always our all night dreams, but now our attitude are strange, especially mine’ i can go on, on my day and end up without talking to her, an I’ve been having mood swings, seriously i don’t have a real life dates because of her
    My reasons now, are because she hardly express her feelings to me, which is always important in a LDR
    So now, i really don’t know what to do, an i never want to lose her
    I need your help pls ..

    1. LDR can be hard, I think everyone goes through phases like this. Communication is so important. Maybe it will help to talk to your partner about how you are feeling?

  15. Thank you for this and your other content I am about to read! You have given me hope as my situation is in early days and I was struggling about how to maintain an ongoing connection. Brilliant tips and advice. There are no guarantees that this will work out, but you’ve given us tools to give it a fair shot. X

  16. Hey Sarah!

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon your blog! Me and my boyfriend have been only dating for a few months, him in Germany and me in Hungary. We already have plans to visit each other and also take trips together. Regardless of all that I’ve had anxiety over if we could make this work because of the reactions of my friends. Reading this post actually helped me quite a bit, thank you so much!

    1. So glad I could be of help!! A lot of people just don’t get it, but we do <3 I'm sure your friends will come around with time, too, when they see how committed you are to each other!

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